They say... "There's no place like home". True. There really isn't.
I think I had one of the hardest days up to date the day after I came home from our Mission's trip to SavuSavu. I was tired from the long trip, and for some reason, whenever I get really over tired and low on sleep, I can just cry over nothing. It's pretty pathetic! lol So... that didn't really help matters all that much! Haha.
I was ready to click my red magic slipper together. 😁
Living here has started to sink in more for me. This IS my home now. This is my LIFE now. I suppose it really hit home when I came "back from a trip". (SavuSavu) Everyone else was going "home"...and rightly so... you expect to "go home" after a trip somewhere else... and yet, I unpacked my suitcase in Nausori. My mind was like... 'wait a minute... something isn't quite right here'! Haha.
I love my little "home away from home". I really do. There was something so much more familiar coming back to Nausori now... than when I first landed here over 2 months ago. It really is "home" now and I'm thankful for it. I know so much more of where I fit, where I belong, what is expected, what I do on a daily basis, and who I share it with. Which, is such a blessing. But, I was feeling really homesick. I was expecting to hear my sister walk up the stairs... or hear my dad's voice from his chair upstairs. ... Silence. I really wanted a hug... I'd give anything to feel my daddy's arms around me again... so I went outside and held the cat! LOL 😂 (Dixie (the cat) has become part of the family here too. She's my laundry buddy because she always comes out to do laundry with me.😊) I never used to be much of a cat person...but I really like Dixie.
I have to say, I'm so thankful for good friends. For people who care and have reached out to make me feel so much more at home here too. I love the people in my life. They are precious to me...and I praise the Lord for them. It IS painful to have your heart split down the middle in two very different places, 9,000 miles apart from each other. I can already feel it.
I was only gone in SavuSavu a week and I already really missed my Chinese students.... and, believe it or not, haha, found myself craving Chinese food!!! Oh my! (I'll never be able to eat that fake "American Chinese" again.) 😁
Anyways, so I made myself a nice cup of tea... grabbed some of my dark chocolate stash (I brought from the States!) and headed upstairs to my room. I listened to good music, read my bible, opened up my diary... and cried my eyes out! Haha. The LORD is such a friend to me though. He really has become my best friend. It's precious and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I just told Him all about it. And He listened and it was sweet. I told Him how much I'd love to visit home again soon... but that I was going to be happy even if He said "no". I'd rather be with Jesus in Fiji... than without Jesus in America.
The things we most desire don't make us happy like He does.
So the night passed... and I was again reminded of His AMAZING grace that conquers all! He's such a present help in trouble, like David said in the Psalms.
And I praise and I thank Him for the communication I am able to have from home! I read about missionaries that literally said goodbye for what was the rest of their lives... and I feel so spoiled. I can literally call my family in a matter of moments if the internet is working. 😊 And I am thankful to ... for a family to miss. That we are close enough, that we actually can feel like we're dying without each other! Haha. That is precious too.
All to say, God is good. No, it isn't always easy and fun... and yes, sometimes it hurts or feels lonely, but He is faithful who promised... and He has promised me so much.